Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Reality check

despise a smile- My one tooth crooked and dramatic over bite
i really prevent myself from smiling...
and willingly to..even knowing the positive psychological effects smiling can do for me and others....
I dare a dentist to tell me I need braces....i swore to never speak..and no I'm not joking..
despise cold winter days- I look 13 in like to believe I have the figure of and hour glass but i only weigh about 113, dresses seem to be the only thing that embraces a wanna be sex appeal..
I march stores learn fashion essentially to look near sexy..
impressively..still doesn't fix within..
epicly I'm a hairdresser by will..
just an excuse to stare at the mirror to notice my skin and my thin upper lip
with a bottom that barely exists...
I obsess over the looks of others and no my clients don't know this..
I was bashed for taking extra time by employers...
while clients say I'm simply a perfectionist 
i have this rush of adrenaline and i know this might seem irrelevant 
i see a beautiful woman and wonder...
how about the rest of it?
no I'm not a lesbian..
but I'm curious as to why us woman ...seem to be competitive?
I'm 20 years old...already thought of face lifts..
lip injections...fake tits..even going as far as breaking my ribs..
why? so i can simply be curvaceous 
I tell myself my legs are like a chickens
and my face is like a pigeon...
does my innocent self deserve this...
ironically i hate attention
but yet want to be noticed
they say having a beautiful heart is your secret weapon
but sometimes that could hold you back from being a confident person
society says you are worthless
while god says it isn't worth it!
how far will go to be what they call gorgeous
when you find a real man who compliments your beauty within
more then the surface
to come to realization we are all far from perfect
to understand the cancer behind all this bullshit
to fear the consequence behind corsets that displace organs
to realize that natural beauty is almost foreign
to understand your role models on magazines are hopeless
to appreciate gods gift and be blessed you aren't homeless
so before spending that extra money on waste 
allow your success to have a purpose
before you lose purpose and become another puppet in this...
and when you ask yourself why you aren't happy within..know that you earned it
you are officially a beauty addict 
now find yourself a companion that will re-hers it 

Written by Esra Chebli