Friday, September 30, 2011

Don't Hurt
I'm feeling a little distant from myself these past few months, and the only person I don't understand is me at the I guess I'm going through a normal phase in life right? but at these times I wonder if I'm convincing myself..I feel tackled and tired..confused and sick, happy yet upset. My issues don't revolve around others, though I take it like it evolves through my time and energy, which makes me feel like I'm not using my time productively. I have friends I can speak these thoughts to but I need to set this straight with myself and go ahead and write it down so I can think things through. I feel this sense of guilt when I don't take over and let my dreams devour and destruct over me, I feel confused when I just let it be and think over to myself I just wanna go through something that'll effect me in a negative way just so I can write something crazy and feel that feeling like I've accomplished something, but things don't always go your almost never get what you want. I'm not suicidal..just thought I'd make that clear...I chose this background on my blog because it said something to me...everybody goes through those times when their head is over filled they just wanna explode, well this picture connected to me because sometimes I wanna explode but I do it in a beautiful way by setting it in poetry..and that's what the butterflies would stand for. I don't deny suicidal thoughts and I don't encourage it, but people are killing themselves. I understand depression, I understand emotional difficulties and issues within yourself..I understand lonelyness and feeling worthless, I hope I can change somebodys life reading this right now or even help somebody who might be going through this, because we all do but we just don't admit to it we might have even tempted suicide. Depression is hard to deal with, and if you don't cure it early it'll get worse and worse, and this is a post speaking of my own experience.. sometimes you can't control depression and sadness just takes on to you for no reason at all..and if I'm saying this then you know that your not the only one who goes through this. Even when it comes down to a time when you feel like you have nothing going well for you at home, school, love, friends, work..well you have to think nothing is perfect and you have to gain that strength to have things your way..that knowledge and happiness within yourself. There are people out there who will understand, I found my own way that helps me at these times and it's writing, and trust me it's helped a lot. Beauty, Love, Money, Sex, etc..won't help you at all..Express your feelings, and you'll save a life everyday..and that'll be your own.