To me your a friend..

not an enemy..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKyNS2y0twI

How come when I need most help

the ones who seem to be farthest are most near..

How come when I look to my side your never there

and when I look around me everybody else is here..

How come it is that every time I fallow your advice

I fall into the arms of someone I never thought cared about me..

it is you my friend..who seems to envy

backstab..hurt..and push me away from enemies

my friend are you afraid that I face the truth?

because I noticed now a days my fashions a little trendy

am I blinded by you my friend?

because I can finally see your being a little to friendly

when I trusted you with my life and now it's so hard catching..

my friend..are you trynna flip my mind around

by giving me a shoulder for me to lean?

my friend..it is you who knows what makes me most weak

it is you who took away what I needed to keep

it is you who told me to never believe..

believe that life can get hard and throw me off my feet

did you say it to shut me up when I was hurt?

you said it's okay don't worry please..

you never made me cry..instead you wiped my tears.

why? the truth is what you were in most fear..

of..
now you say losing me..

my friend how come so many different faces begin to appear
one minute your gone the next minute your yappin through my ears..
you said keep everybody at distant
though I'm glad I chose to keep talkin to my peers..
my friend you mean nothing
your another relationship that comes to an end..
there is not relation with my enemies..
I'm gonna leave you to drain with the past
because I finally found the missing center peice.

Written By Esra Chebli

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlnzFocfBmc

I don't want to write about you,

but I can't hold it in..

I'm filled with excitement and anger..

all I want is to be with him,

I disguise this secret so well but my blood is rushin thin

I think he can hear my heart beat pound as his voice lingers across my skin

and you wonder what my smile's about my heart's about to spill

all I'm askin is for you is to fill it in,these incomplete spaces hold my chin

just as I say hello I stare wonderin if I could ever be his

because he's not just a boy, to me he's a prince

but I know I'm no princess..though I wish

because I know he'll notice me in beauty's way, not just when I trip

and instead of saying "I love you" give that sentence a flip

call me up and tell me you'll never let go, blow me away like the wind

instead I'm dreamin fallin like off a cliff

and my mind is tellin me this is all a trick

and my heart is tellin me I'm broken give me a fix

it's him you could never be with

it's me you could never see it in

I'm sorry but it's something you gotta cope with

I'm so sick..I'm so sick

I need a lift..I want you to give me that lift

from those arms to those lips

til' that last day he ever gave me a kiss

this moment..where this sentence begins

I've fallin..though hooked on like a pin,

I love you..here I am saying it

I'm on a twist..

please answer this..

will I ever get over you? that's my question now

well I have to find a way some how..

I tried everything..my heart continues to pound

only because of you..and it's only getting loud

I'm hiding beneath these clouds

my angel I'm callin out for you please come down

stop hiding come on out

the past comes rushin back..can you hear the sound

foot steps echo the sound that surrounds

hard to let go..don't want to hurt myself as I drop to the ground

I could just wait and sit around

pay for the pain it's self

fade with a single beats sound

erase an empty page with doubts

lose a thought while being proud

keep lookin up when my head should fall down

wish upon a star that's even hiding behind a cloud

allow everything to be stopped

self control was supposed to be found

I could hold onto time

but time never came sittin against a couch

my mind is rushin I'm runnin out

words can't explain

and I can't tell what the actions about

trust in myself is just not allowed

I assume the exact opposite

from what's behind the shadows that surround...

I choose to stick with you..

"How can I start off this letter..I know this wont make things any better but everything reminds me of you..

why can't we be together...this weather is pretty lonely ironic hey? never knew forever was never, walked half a mile..already gone that's pretty clever while my mind roles the memories..However, I don't enjoy that play back because I miss you.. and it's time you come and get her because things are gettin a little tenser my heart is cut in half right through the center and I can't help but control this temper its to hard I think it's about time I surrender.."

what do you think of this?..I was writing to you

I never finished

because all this confusion began to intrude..

"I try to look for some one to blame..try to turn my words around showin my second face,trapped in the darkness trynna find a way, I can't see where I'm goin I'm blinded from such a drastic change..and I flip pages back,hopin to find my way out this trap,but nothin can replace this pain..I try to let it go but it just ain't the same, trynna fight with my every strength, but my weakness beats me down with the worlds weight..with just one last try before it's to late,didn't they say it was never to late..that was before time was added in the race, now I can't catch my breath I feel insane..trynna walk away..hold onto you..regain my faith, as I keep wanting you.."

-Written By Esra Chebli

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTkVMYAsdf0&list=PLBA17B4C22EFF5317&index=18&playnext=2
you can say your not alone..

but why do you hesitate to pick up the phone,

wouldn't you rather be at home

because really you just rather get away from your zone,

or maybe from life but I bet there is no escape because its just you and what's inside..

you can't say your not alone,

because what you have nobody will ever know,

I mean either way you keep your emotions on the low..

there's two of you..

a shadow don't try and mock me..

I'm speakin to the unknown..a mystery,

don't try lookin, what for?

historic events or a future response it's on the core..

my life can't beat this world I'm sinkin on shore..

my head drops to the floor,

protect your eyes from the rain when it begins to pour..

until you see signs of the sun..

look to the side your head is sittin next to a gun..

don't rely,

 because better yet he's on the run..

there is no right,

better yet there is no wrong,

it's just so long..

farewell your workin towards the end,

your livin no fairytale

your already in jail waitin for bale,

set yourself free from this misery

follow upon this trail, nobody is with me..

independence is what I chose ..

this life got me thinking

I got such a long way to go

and there's still my broken heart that needs fixing,

I set boundaries with no limits..

these words are sinking

your eyes begin to blur watch as my soul escapes

as I continue printing..

an empty page..
trynna phrase a sentence with the simplest words I can say
please give me the space
I'm trynna figure out what's this I'm beginning to face
I just desperately wait
hoping time will arrive before it's to late
lead me the way, lead me the way
leave me to pray hoping for change
I can't be in this cage
I am so afraid
hold my temper down take me off the stage
I don't wanna show anymore
this smile is fake
I've already walked more then a mile of pain
please leave these eyes to drain
because I'm about to burst
I need to fly away..
I know that I'm alone

Written By Esra Chebli

Imbroglio

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uc6UUAht9K4&feature=related

To conflate my emotions to an unknown shadow

brood to daylight in a senseless pattern

wondering off into nowhere droppin my head down

like an elision of words mixed in such a scatter..

almost there just at the step of imbrication

my eyes begin to shatter..

trynna lilt my dreams towards the stars

but try climbin a broken latter..

its kinda hard..so I just rather..

dessemble these dreams even faster,

because the world turns in such a desultory motion

it's so hard to capture..

and from now to here on after..

will I ever say those few words that I never mastered,

this epiphany is to sudden for all this time to gather..

an evenascent light, traveling at the speed of sound trynna catch her..

gone at the blink of an eye

a heart so fractured

ethereal..I can feel you kickin the walls of my heart

raptured..

purified of felicity,

beautiful eyes..

eyes missing me..

whom shawn like purls..

kept him to the infinity..

furtive around the clock..

the clock of eternity,

love me love me not

I'm bleeding internally

ineffable to another soul..

and she who is incipient stands tall..

a mellifluous melody a man calls,

dead asleep her hair strands fall..

an illusion of beauty their two hands hold..

let go so easily..this story was to never be told

hidden beneath the clouds

above the sky the movie rolls

starin at her nemesis of life

time just goes..

Written By Esra Chebli

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceCNKU4C6ho

slowly trynna find her way back it was the past man I thought she forgot about all that, I mean she said she was way back on track and now her first is her last that's all full of crap, with the "e" and the dash and mama sayin it's all wack, motivation is slim willin to throw it all in the trash trynna get her mind set straight try'n relax..life goes on once again but ain't as bad, she got it all set sittin right there on her lap, just playin nothins really that simple like recordin audio on a mac..she got time but time is flyin by way to fast wastin it in front of the mirror with her mascara brushin each lash..so much goin on in her mind..she fell way behind but they try'n catch up fast forward to rewind..that's what she had, shes tellin mama can't you understand while shes gettin all mad..stickin words across a sheet trynna puzzle the facts, findin another way playin melody's in guitar class maybe she feels like life is a pass when school is just half she got dreams bigger then the band but it ain't about the money it ain't about the cash, neither the fame never cared for the fans..

her unspoken words unleash in a rap..who's readin'em she treats'em like ash, throwin gold away not knowin how to react, while they sayin theres nothin shes really good at..one is in college the other engaged man that's so sad..got involved with a man it was like a printer in a jam loadin more shit on her back as if she was the dodge ram about to get serious about to remove the cast but her hearts bleedin again what's there to contrast, trynna have a blast and forget about the rash cupid misses her but they just aimin to the ass who's there to trust do the math because she ain't wastin her time and there all glad..

life just goes on and on..

losin time as time keeps runnin along

this is life

ups and downs

rises and falls

losin more and more

and gaining one small thing to make up for it all..

this is life and you just gotta learn to appreciate it

-e-chebbz

Written By Esra Chebli

October 22 of 2010

Diary of 2010,

I was just lookin at my previous posts..From way back at the start of 2010. I wrote a 2009 diary, while I was reading it I was just thinking to myself...I've came such a long way, just by reading it can tell my mind was all over, like I was walking with both my eyes shut, trying to live a dream.. but I know I never achieved nothing. So how did 2010 go.? I'm still in it but it's nearly the end of the year and I can explain how tough it was and how much of an idiot I was. Honestly..I got nothin to hide..I've only lied to myself enough..all this bol-shit ended in the summer..I've lost like what. about fourteen people..and plus things changed alot between loved ones..I know I can't erase the past, I've made mistakes..but also choices hopefully I can teach others not to make. Looking back at my stuff..reading through every single one it's not hard to tell that my mind was all over the place..I hate every word I phrased in each sentence..it's like I was pushing things to come to me..but I ended up hurting myself because I was obviously not ready to face all these struggles..and better yet..I faced all of this on my own, I thought I had you here...but just like a tap of water..my eyes were spilling tears...theres one and very important thing I learned from all this..Nobody will understand..and I can finally say I accept that..to you..who thinks knows me inside out..you don't know half the shit I went through..it was just the introduction to the beginning of my life..and I'm sure years to come I'll be lookin back at this, and look at me like an idiot. Here I am..did I get my soul back? I set it free, it was locked in the sell of my chest and I trusted it to leave..look at all the trouble it caused..but I'm not sure if I took the right one..it'll take time to know as my knowledge begins to grow and grow..He got me thinking..we were talking just the other day over the phone..but man his words gave me a choke right through my throat.. it was like I can feel with every word he was saying to me, like I can feel that pain that can take a life time to get over..but it is true..nobody will ever understand me..or you..or anybody around you, this world's a lonely place..do you have to go through some shit to understand at least these words? well yeah..because I know there are people out there who don't give a fuck..who lose themselves without realizing it because they are so blinded..and really you could be laughing..find this humorous..but I bet when you get that chance to be alone..it's gonna be scary once you actually hear yourself saying things...I was stressed to the point where I had so much going on in my head that I would find some words slippin outta my mouth bit by bit..I thought it was because I need someone to talk to..."man this smile ain't real, listen to me" everybody began to wonder what the hell was going on with me..I wanted to leave..runaway...but I got nothin and no place to stay not even a job or account in the bank...shit it's so hard to swallow that...fuck I get sick of lookin back.. of you..I'm sick of all that, all the things I was willing to sacrifice..it gives me shivers even writing it...but I guess things change rapidly in my life...my sister is about to be a wife..my marks are gettin a little high...and I'm actually beginning to see a real smile..already starting a new chapter in my life...He who is soon to be mine...we'll see what goes down when 2011 kicks in.


My diary...Esra Chebli October 22, 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VgSDutyB4A

like lightening strokes, electrocution beneath my dreams

below the stars I lay waitin for an angel to lift my feet

me against gravity as the world takes on to me

depravity in my world..I'm watchin my soul scream

waitin on time as it tells me to wait on destiny

I fall deeper leavin my soul to internally bleed

I keep holdin on as I get a little more weak

theres a little bit of strength enough to hold on to me

but I'm beginning to let go before these angels set my hands free

nothing for the world to know but I keep spittin these words across a screen

distance is far and once ur gone that's gonna be hard to believe,

love comes once and your runnin through my mind gradually

its enough that its tough fillin these words with profanity

is it in you or in these words I gotta give a knock at reality,

because I ain't livin so happily..

ever after like Cinderella its the fact to be,

that ups and downs loadin shit on my back massively..

so what the fuck I ain't rappin here

this is what I'm feelin because you know I'm zappin tears

as I'm writin these words

when will I get the chance to relax and breathe

I felt it a moment ago lyin in ur arms indeed

Imma give you the time to take your time to proceed

and let you know that I'm waitin right here..

no matter the fuck the time

no matter the fuck it takes to survive

I don't give a fuck because you already took my life

distance is nothin..

I said Imma be here for eternity,

so I ain't gonna sit here and watch you get up and leave

just like that as if we was enemies..

nearly 8000 miles away at day seventeen

that's why I'm cryin that's what I need you to see

I can play just that in a symphony

I'm gonna miss you

to the depth of infinity..

Written By Esra Chebli

You Never Know

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loFqhq79PiA&feature=related

I guess it's true when they say you never know..

when that important thing just leave you and get up and go,

I guess we livin in a unknown world. trust will never show..

appear once again because at lyin we pros

but when we hear truth even the word gives us shivers down our throat
lookin through the rearview what happened to them lessons I thought we learned

but we rowin once again on that same boat

just like enemies evil takes on the most

I don't know why but it seems like nobody can even take a joke

facin reality man its givin us a choke

insanity..I guess its time we build us a new road..

we want the easy way through..shortcuts for hope

but that light slips away so easily because we turnin on dope

simply fallin in the hands of the last message you ever wrote

stop and take notes..

the past decade you've been trynna climb up this rope

damn whys it gettin so hard..when ur hands are soaked with soap

throw this all away to the stars because they never seem to fade to grey

black and white theres nothin to taste

when really we even made that a problem but solved it today

visualize time and we still forgot how to pray
survive "the eye" leavin us speechless of a million words we can say

leave the sun to rise but I bet we find a slower way

while the tech grows countries don't even have water to bathe

what's the resource because all we carrin about is money in the bank..

why can't we push that all down the drain..

this is all for nothin all this bol-shit and pain

is it all for money..nearly forget your own name

from the richest riders to the poorest survivors

even whats in between is caught up in the game

others stay broke while we dream for the fame

look what this world has become man its a shame

lookin at our hole lives and keep buildin mistakes

whats this now its our hole life we gotta rearrange

some people can't see a thing..

I'm speakin words from the shoes of a ring

blood diamond..root to the kings

I'm blinded perfection ain't in the blings

that shouldn't even be a word,..beneath an angels wings

here lives an ordinary girl..

I wish I can sing

how come..? in my eyes I believe its a beautiful way to let out emotions that ring

find there way out with tears that sting..

we all sufferin

money aint happiness

money is nothin

"what is time when we don't even use it to organize our lives"

quit fussin..theres nothin to be rushin..

think about life because its our own hands we cuffin..

Goodnight..

"I guess we'll never know when we have a way through until its gone

and your left with nothin to do"

Written By Esra Chebli

Just a Dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abvpKg_7bkc

I wish time could stop spinning and the world would just pause

 at least catch my breath while everything is put to a complete stop

I wish a shooting star can actually grant a wish

don't take credit to a false cause..

I wish I can getaway from the world

surrender this battle

because waterfalls are already beginning to shatter..

and as time rolls I'm falling behind

I'm trynna climb a broken latter

it's hard leavin my weaknesses to hide

as I start a new chapter..

So I was just thinkin..Maybe if I shut my eyes

I can bring myself to that place where no one but me will ever find

pretend this is all a dream

wake up nearly at the end of my life..

feel that sense of relief

like it was only a long dream I had last night

but wait..how come I'm still stuck in the same place..

how come I'm out of breath like I'm caught up in the same race

how come I'm still glued onto the same page

how come I'm still wakin up to the same day..

So now that never worked

I'm falling back way down to earth...

wow I'm back on my knees liftin myself up from the planets dirt

the clouds kicked me down

these rain drops are steppin on this girl

round and round once again the world begins to twirl..

time is rushin and these roads begin to extend
I can't even take the chance to even pretend
loads are pilin on my back times a hundred and ten
and hills run up as my muscles begin to descend..

What happens if I had a dream that ended beautifully
onto the next level and I'm caught between you and me
woke up and there was nothin for you to see
my dreams ran away disappeared foolishly

Just a dream
anybody will believe
anything and everything is possible
life can easily destroy a scene
when you think things logical
wake up havin to leave

so I was just thinkin..Maybe I should try and sleep with my eyes wide open
that's impossible right
but I aint reallly jokin
I really wish I could because my dreams don't really understand
this is life
your livin on a completly different land.

Wake up..I'm lettin go of you hands
it's way to risky to sleep
but dreams are all I ever had..

 Written By Esra Chebli

The Exposure

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1nuxEft8xY&NR=1

Im here to expose what you did to me like how my reflection exposed the truth livin beneath..and when I tell you promise not to cry because I promise this shit will be takin you on a bumpy ride..Dear ...., you know just pushed me to the side cant get to personal cuz nothin really pushed me to the right, even if she said everythin is gonna be alright say you wanna leave goodbye lullaby whats goin on in my life?..cuz thats what Im thinkin bout..you wished you'd die when man you aint even know what death is like you know Im holdin myself down in these restless times..trynna make somethin outta nothin in these breathless rhymes, fuck these reckless fights this aint somethin my weakness delights..So here I am, yet again stuck in my place..not knowin to expect at the end of the day..Im gettin tired but I have to wait man patience is nearly takin up half the space..And if you were to ever apologize after these words promise it met with your ears and allowed it to be heard, because you never understand me thats what I mean its only in these words that pick me up from whats said on this sheet..I'll allow it to be seen cuz to ya'll who dont know what its like steal these words as if you was a theif...Losin the good times while the bad keeps comin waitin to recieve happyness when theres nothin to be lovin, sorry to mention and no offence I aint the typa a bitch to earn it from fuckin..so fuck it..I got time spinnin like time is rushin..you can stop the bluffin cuz this goes to the bone blooded man whos afraid to be trusted..

Written By Esra Chebli

Greatest lie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHCncvee8pQ

(4sec-25sec)

I know words aint gonna make a difference..

I know nothin will rewind back to the days.

I know this love can never happen again..

I know there'll be noway you'll ever forgive me..

but I can tell you one thing..I hurt you well enough

to leave you scard to never ever forget me..

remember the times..ya gone already..

so if you dont mind..

I'd like to tell you exactly whats been on my mind..

so get ready..cuz Im about to tell you I told you the greatest lie of all time..

(26 sec-1:34sec)

"House keys on the table, Door half way closed"

where hes goin..? I dont know

havent heard of him since the unknown appeared..

a mystery set him free..

locked in my heart,

now leaves a memory behind..

I said I never loved you..never did..

move on because I aint into this...

I wish I can take that back..

never should'a lied..should'a stuck onto it..atleast could'a tried

should'a whiped them tears when I figured you cried..

left your eyes to drain..should'a told you why..

told you stay right here..no..no get outta my life

now your gone disappeared outta my sight

when for real I wanted to see you

wanted to feel you..Never thought it was right

never wanted you to cry..

it was all a lie...it was all a lie..all a lie..

(1:34sec-3:40sec)
now its all gone..down the drain

told me I was wrong..Im so insane

said I was leavin you..

left you to wait..

when I was lovin you..now wish you'd call back

when I was holdin you..now Im so sad..

shoulda told you...cuz now Im all trapped
-(1:56sec)all he wanted was to know..was did I love him..

I couldn't answer..Im so caught up..

now hes so gone..the greatest guy

from the greatest lie...for the greatest time

Im screamin the greatest cry

it was the last time..it was the greatest fight..

Im still lovin you..but its hidin deep inside..

Im lookin for it in my reflection

its showin it in my eyes..

and I know these words wont mean a thing..

and I dont mean to lose your every strength

cuz Im tellin you I lied..cuz you were my everything..

as senceless as that sounds

its still pilin 3 or 4 pounds..

"Said I'll be just fine without you in my life
I couldn't deny it'd be the greatest lie
Words can't describe just what you mean to me
You know I need you tonight
I told the greatest lie
Said I don't love you
I told the greatest lie, I told the greatest lie
Said I don't love you
I told the greatest lie, I told the greatest lie"

Remake Written By Esra Chebli

...Where'd You Go...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvYoqo0BQ0Q

so I heard..yet again from another,

I'll let it be..though never be the sucker..

even though..man I know it kills like a fucker..

so here I stand..yet in the middle of thunder,

clueless..what to do, man right under

shits so small,why you leavin me to wonder..

keep comin an goin like the winter and summer,

fuck the bitch it started from a lover

and if there were ever a finish..

like there is..you know its a bummer..

I'm flowin cool with the vibe..

not lookin for another,

but if missin just a smile intrudes..

I'm never gonna trust her...I mean..

me..I can't get any dumber,

where'd you go?

where have you been..

there somethin I need you to know..

theres somethin I need you to see..

here it is..my heart is layin right infront of me..

just a peice..though I know the other half is with you..

can't you see..fuck it go on and keep the move..

I'll be thinkin..thinkin of maybe you..

And if the sun comes up

And my eyes is still wide open

I'm still dreamin

And I'm still forzen

Promise to stay right here..

and you better know it..

Written By Esra Chebli

               

If You Got Nowhere To go..

How do You get Somewhere?

-ESRA CHEBLI

..It's Time..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiKRauO2bdc

It's not like I wonder..If you wonder that your on my mind..

it's not like I care..moments ago I left these tears behind..

with mamories I can bare..but I'll never go back to the days back to the times..

when I was left there to share a fake seeming smile that I've been facing for a while

it's not like Im asking myself what ur doin

or how ur movin through these miles..

I can say it but its disappears after these trials..

and I can face it even if I stare blanklessley at these beating dials..

So here I am..I dont wonder where you've been..

haven't wondered where you went..

it's enough after all that I've seen..

I can feel nothin yet

I got matter and hopes that I still haven't met..

what am I talkin about..

I can careless..

we all go through shit..but out of shit we get the best.

I leave them choices I made right here treasured in my chest..

and they lay with me til the day I rest..

On my own I got this road ahead of me

I'm willing to regret

I'm hoping to see..

a couple of changes I'm already begining to feel

where'd you go..

I'm pushin you farther from here

I'm not asking because it dosn't matter

these words are all real...

and if you say dam after all these years..

say it but your spillin tears..

they speak to me I guess you gotta cope with ur fears..

I hope ur gone sharin a fuckin peice

happier then you'll ever be

forget me burn a historic gallery,

it's only been a while ago..

how you ridin on broken wheels?

flyin with broken wings..

curruption so deep..

man these words are for you

distruction has you week..

"baby please..baby please"

begging to believe..

its time I play the tune to the melody of my life..

its time I hear a beautiful rythem after all a cry..

Im leavin everything behind..

It's been about time..

Written By Esra Chebli

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3HyUclML2Q&feature=related

 I'm gonna run from you..run until I'm finaly through..

shut my eyes and keep my mind blank,

I'm gonna hide far past rivers and beneath mountains..

set with the sun fall with the rain,

I'm gonna embrace the pain from water fountains..

lock myself in a cage,

I'm gonna hold myself down onto my broken knees..

I want to leave everything behind act like I never believed,

give up while I'm being chased..

face me for a change,

discover who I really am til nothins the same..

I never wanna remember and forget my life..

I want to be alone with the person inside,

go back in time discover all the reasons why,

I want to walk freely with the wind..

I want to be so alone that my foot steps will echo after each tick,

I want to run..run til' I see an angel,

because an angel to me was never a stranger..

tell'em imma be back later

and disappear into the darkness of the night til' they discover I'm a trader,

I'm gonna keep runnin til' I finaly stop and dround in air..

I want the heat to shoot down til' my eyes sweat tears..

I want to feel pain like never before..

so when I turn back I'm strong enough to defeat this war..

Written By Esra Chebli

Reach..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUoE6GSSl68&feature=related

I'm walking away taking smaller steps bit by bit, day by day..

 it was 1,2,3,4,5,6

seven... it's been a tough year, month,week, day, hour, minute, second

so I wait, maybe time will serve something pleasant,

 music rollin' through my ears, weezy say he's playin basketball with the moon and got the world at his feet, but I'm lyin' here keepin' darkness under my bed sheet... I feel like dying... but the drugs don't fool me, marijuana is just smoke, there's more smoke in the air I breathe, it's lock down on my priorities, I get high to the limit of minorities, drop.. I fall so easily, I'm the leaf in fall, the snow in winter, the rain the clouds are pouring me,

You watch me go... I leave a goodbye and a sorry, nowadays it's hard seeing the sun, it's hiding from me, behind the shield of clouds, there you are, and I'm beneath, 1,2,3 there are now thirteen,

A blanket of black, the moon hides behind a tree, I shut down I'm now blind, sinking into my dreams, open my eyelids the doors that will soon seal, roads that lead no where so I stay asleep, dream off ,dream on, the devil starts to creep, I can't shut my eyes, I begin remembering, my eyes start to leak, there's blood coming from my teeth, my brain continues a speech, dashin' through memories, thirteen in just one year lost too many... what's up.. how you been? miscommunication has me settling.

I reach towards a shooting star, I almost caught it..wish I almost missed it, skimmin' through stories with just a begginin', I'm swimmin in a pool with just my spirit, 34 lines I fit my lyrics, times infinity .. I'm never finished.. I run the streets of blood where my bones are crushed, where my feet are numb and my heart is touched, down so deep I'm drillin dust.. on my knees .. I'm givin' up, what's the solution for feelin stuck? I divide my thoughts, transmission starts to rust, multiple answers like a cancer cells rush, instrumentical heart beat now goin nuts.. pour champagne  into your system, I pour my thoughts out for you to listen, here we go I begin my wishes, but my wishes will never reach, to reach is my mission...

Written By Esra Chebli

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux7BXBo52L0


lost somethin that was love..somethin I thought was lust..losin you I had to accept..but wutif losin you was a mistake..everythin in my life will be full of regects..how can I relate..never ment for ur heart to break..left you thought I needed a rest..but once I've spoken to you..you have finaly released the truth..there was nothin to prove..I hope ur willin to come along with me on this decision I choose..because the pain in my heart feels like the pain of a bruise..I dont needa go around and cruise..now I know it's only you..I'm inlove..and baby believe me its true..I cant get over the fact that were through..I miss you..miss you that I cant take it any longer..miss you that nothin will make me stronger..I want us..us to go farther and farther..but everyday its just gettin harder and harder..I need you..I just need you..I need you..I love you..I miss you..feel me..Im almost kneeling..my tears are gettin so appealing..dont let me wonder off freely..I want you..I lost you..I cropped you..I dropped you..never caught you..never stopped me..now ur gone so longely..I doubt with things so awfully..I want to recconect to you..no disrespect but you got nothin to lose..baby I adore you thats why I keep runnin back..thats why my heart is beatin as Im writin this as if Im racin on a track..this is no puzzle..thought I peiced the facts...cuz theres another..shes real inlove with you..I can see it in her eyes..it reminded me of us when she started to cry..you know I never told you a lie..but wut is it with her she has to hide..whats so special...I cried and I cried..nearly died..from pain..I tried..I tried..kept keepin you next to my side..but its empty..so deadly..I need you...Im at the edge of losin you..my everything...

Written By Esra Chebli

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQfaf4_aZ-k&feature=related

They take their baggage, talk their shit so annomously, it's so outragious..pathetic
so hectic, I don't play this, fuck you got somethin to say, come say it faggot
you're worthless, hide your face so you don't show it, let me hear you spit a couple a' lines if you're so couragious, call me a whore? but what did you're mama do before she got pregnant.. Bastard
I'm waitin' on ya, and I don't need your ass to rate this, you don't fit between the spaces as I lay these lines,
you got too many faces, watch before the heat arises 'cuz later you're gonna be mistakin',
bitch you're obviously hated, and to me haters never faded, the shit you be doin is outdated, as my 5 star ratings escaladed, your outspoken words aint designated, the shit you be writin when you critisize seems like you hullicanted, marked as a hater, aint no way you're escapin', but I care less, my soul is too empy, it was far back when me and my inner self separated, but now my faith is regenerated, and any shit you throw at me, I'm strong enough to take it, got somethin to say? Ha! you aint never gonna be able to face it, I aint suprised by the bullshit you created, it's so over rated, I think you're way immature to be comin' up with these creations, like these relations, they aint ships I use for my transportation, HA! this is my dedication to haters who seem to hate with no explanation, sorry I don't understand you're language or the games you be playin', speak amongst yourselves and don't put yourselves in humiluating situations where the shit you be doin has to be done with your own persuasion, I'm in my own zone, no need for your invasion, ayo and if you got the balls then tag this

"To all the haterz that be hatin"

Written By: Esra Chebli

Oh My God

 is that an angel I see

Wut the fuck is lookin at me?

I can't..can't

Breathe

can't feel my feet

whats beneath my seat

I finaly realized it was just a dream..

Written By Esra Chebli

Reply For you..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkHKWJ6tItU

You know I feel I changed..

your my blood and my love will always remain the same,

I hold this guilt I hold this shame and cover it up playin a game

but you always find your way catch me in these lies Im trynna say

ur stressed look at this monster mamma made,

 we share a room its now like two enemies in a cage..

but wait,

I will always be here to wait,

 give you faith

 be the sink for your tears to drain..

yeah I know imma little insane

and it trips me out to see what I have to face..

how did this all happen in the first place?

try to relate havin to cope with these issues like demons in my brain..

little voices inside me echoing saying my name

im trynna run away my frustration builds up each day..

Im afraid thats why I luy awake

I cry and pray blastin music in my ears starin at the ceilin paint,

 thinkin about the past I wish I can erase..

I aint a happy person I just fake

I know you understand me my life is a crazy peraid,

sometimes I feel its to late I know you can relate

we live under the same roof we eat outta the same plate..

I dont know when this exactly occured inside me

I cant tell you the time and date

but I can tell you one thing hopefully everything will be okay

give it time maybe things will rearrange..

back to the way they were for now imma have to ask you to take..

take til I got nothin left to make..

go to sleep this is only temporary

 ur my sister..

my blood..

just pretend this aint happenin like its imaginary...

Written By Esra Chebli

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRHSJIz5NyA

makin me feel like Im worthless leavin me to wonder off alone in this circus these bitches are haitin with no purpose and they just want one purchase puttin me down like its workin its what they need so they keep jerkin but heres somethin new for ya'll to know Im hurtless but not heartless like kanye say..I keep my farthest cuz I know Im there number one target they cant take over my world its the largest so I keep my head above the surface..and imma be doin it for one purpose aint for no person for me only thats why Im lonely..I repeat these very same lines from somethin I wrote before..cuz Im remindin ya'll that theres nothin for ya'll to know playin these games competin whos the pro..dear "joe" messages back and fourth cuz you dont know where to go..but I aint ur guide nomore theres an end to everything trust me it'll show keep sippin yo life like u sippin on dope..dont stop like its an addiction, like the bible and the fuckin pope I stay fuckin close and just to myself Im no fuckin joke like each an every single line I ever wrote but aint the lines u sayin through yo mouth like passin notes shit I aint even heard of word that'll make you choke load'em in ur throat pass'em around like a marry-go-boat larry's hoe show step in the game..on the fuckin stage how bad you wanted to kick me off nomatter how much I prayed..and yes Im true..Im no lie I dont talk outta my ass if I want somethin trust me Ill try Ill get it and show ya'll the way to live ur life slit ur loaded throat with a knife lose ur voice chop ur fingers so you wont be able to type and trust me bitches Im to passionate about my dreams who ever fucks with it I ripp there skin like ripped jeans no longer will you be a dick please Ill rip ur insides like Im rippin sheets leave ya with a little speach get ur ears wide open so this time you'll hear I dont give a fuck about you neither ur peers so believe me for you there will never be a tear yous just worthless mawfuckas..My Worthless years..once a best friend soon a second face appeared kept me far from who I wish I kept near had me turnin on the left gear.how did I let me but now I see ur just a lil crowd of peeps
so right now its the time to say cheers its like thanks giving dinner but had enough meals how much could I eat..I just kept takin and takin and now its time to stop I aint gonna take this shit no longer Imma clear my thoughts..Fuck you no longer do I care no longer will I be there no longer will I allow you to push me off the stairs cuz Im done climbin this is only fair..

Written By Esra Chebli

Outta My System...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WW4c-3VJNkU

4sec-1:10[ verse 1]
boy just listen..i gotta spit a couple'a words outta my system..here take a moment an think through the lyrics..I kept shit from you.an it clearly showed in my appearance..so take ur tears an smear'em..cuz i aint gon' let u go..imma keep steerin.i can tell by ur actions u dont like the shit ur hearin..i can feel through the shit yo feelin..dats why I needa take dis shit outta my system..dats why I've been tryin to keep my distance..never knew its you imma be missin..now im just dreamin its yo lips that im kissin..shut yo eyes an clip this..us flyin away as to lovin spirits..boy im sorry for interference..let me just clear this..never played.but I know..I know I did you wrong.we both know we were the perfect bond.never showed but now i know we belong..cuz nothins the same..everytime I'm with a man I mistake him with ur name..everythin seems to be so miss placed..and I seem to be missin ur face..never chaced but I'm runnin after you like im racin to first base..now kinda heard ur goin on a date..found urself a new mate,wanted you to stay..man..I cant sleep an its kinda late..its hurtin me babe..need ya back in my days..need ya goodnights..cuz everythin changed when you left my side..our love never died..man i can see it in your eyes..this love aint easy to hide..when you pass me by it aint easy..someone else lovin you its hard seeing..makes me regret the day I told you I'm leavin..you dont know this..cuz I kept all this shit in my system..


1:11-1:35[ chorus] T-PAIN
When I'm with somebody, all I think bout is you
When I'm all alone, that's all I wanna do
I miss the smiling faces in my sidekick,
Outta town visits, all the time we spent together makes it hard
to get you outta my system.
You know what you do to me (do to me)
You don't even understand (damn)
You know what you do to me (do to me)
It's so hard to get you outta my system.

1:36-2:20[ verse 2]
so if I told you I want you back, baby would you believe me like Im sayin a fact..cuz I want you so bad..
ur love is with no other man..if I said I love you would you keep holdin onto my hands..I've oviousley let go..
but I cant take it seein you with her..theres somethin I want you to know..Im bottlin these feelins in my system..and these feelins are killin me, feel like Im locked in prison and its only you that can set me free..
so sick of love songs..hell yeah..cuz all it does is remind me of how you used to hold me in your arms..tell me Im the one..we aint through we aint done..I know Im still in your heart..maybe there was a couple of problems..but there was no need to part..lets bring it back to the start..this is all in my system..

2:20-2:44[chorus] T-PAIN
When I'm with somebody, all I think bout is you
When I'm all alone, that's all I wanna do
I miss the smiling faces in my sidekick,
Outta town visits, all the time we spent together makes it hard
to get you outta my system.
You know what you do to me (do to me)
You don't even understand (damn)
You know what you do to me (do to me)
It's so hard to get you outta my system.

2:45-3:05[ verse 3]
so come..baby ride with me..keep ur hands tied to me..you is what Im trynna to see..us is what I want us to be..just throw her away cuz we both know nothins the same..all of this trapped in my system..its time to release it..my world dont accept you to be extinct..so I had to reveal this..like I told you its clearly showin in my appearance..I cant handle ur disappearance....

3:05-3:21[chorus] TPAIN
When I'm with somebody, all I think bout is you
When I'm all alone, that's all I wanna do
I miss the smiling faces in my sidekick,
Outta town visits, all the time we spent together makes it hard
to get you outta my system.
You know what you do to me (do to me)
You don't even understand (damn)
You know what you do to me (do to me)
It's so hard to get you outta my system.

3:21-3:52[verse 4]
so I hope you feel me through these words..Im crashin from these sharp turns, and yes baby it hurts its like Im on some sorta curse..if I asked you to come back in my world..would you take me as ur girl..I had to spit these outta my system..
 
Written By Esra Chebli [ chorus is not written by me ]

Let Me Hold You..Jorge & Esra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcNAaj8SnmY

-let me hold you..its like..its like I sold you..as if you was nothin..im sorry for what I told you..and I wasnt ur shoulder..u were right..right how my days is gonna be colder..and I aint gon' be standin taller..let me hold you..even when the rain comes paurin through..and we dont know what to do..keep my arms..my arms locked around you..with the angels that surround you..its like..Im so glad I found you..now Im wishin I could just hear the sound of you ..baby,baby..I got the crown for you..Im down for you..proud to be urs..its in just everythin u do..ur my all, pick me up everytime I fall..even if I be makin mistakes..u help me stand tall..baby I promise I'll neva make yo heart break..and..and..its neva to late..hold my hand and baby Imma stay..let me hold you..an everythin will be ok..just look at my face..an the smile..babe thats all it takes..
-Written By Esra Chebli

-http://www.youtube.com/user/ChicagosAmz
Forget these clowns, let me be the one to hold you down.Keep your crown cause i fight for your love, Give it to me if you feel like i deserve it after the end of this round.You and i, me and you,Thats two perfect nouns,Repeat it to yourself, see how perfect it sounds but girl, you already know, thats only if you.....if ya.... let me... hold you down....
-Written By Jorge

-babe u dont need'a fight cuz u..cuz u the only one in my life..theres no crown..baby there aint a price.. grab my hands an neva let go..cuz you is wuts inside..imma be urs..and baby u can be mine..Imma hold you down when the time is right..til then imma keep u rapped in ma arms through the nights...dream wit ya..sleep wit ya..neva lie..keep u there lyin next to my side..let..let me hold you
-Written By Esra Chebli

- http://www.youtube.com/user/ChicagosAmz
-Lets try to converse on this big ass device.Baby picture the worst then read the rest of this verse,
please take my advice.if you do, i promise what you read is guna make you think twice.with you im bliss,now picture this,soon we`ll kiss,at your favorite place, ill stair in your eyes babygirl not at your waist..look,what im tryna say is that now you know how much i really care.me and you are like a perfect couple of shoes....a perfect pair.
-Written By Jorge

-babe..i see it..see it in ur eyes..i aint gonna just read..imma read between the lines..no promises..imma think
for wuts right..hold u down be ur guide..then u be mine..nah..not just for valentines..but for everyday..an imma picture u holdin me by my waist..lookin in my eyes..at that place we use to chill an look at the sky..til it was late..looked at the stars through the night..imma hold u down like we supposed to..here let me show you..
-Written By Esra Chebli

Check Out Jorge's youtube channel at

http://www.youtube.com/user/ChicagosAmz
this was a little callab we did on youtube

They Don't Know

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjuV9kp4F4Y

yo...Im sittin at these steps lookin at my life that turned upside down..and they dont even know..Im feelin these regrets..wishin I never let no opportunity go..Im lookin at our shared yard..facin the two joined feilds..

fucked up..they dont even know..I was once that quiet little girl they taught back in elementry..soon to come my secrutary is readin my rapps man she never seen me for nearly a century..I come to visit junior school, disapointment use to be my enemy..but now written across my face like Im facin a felony..I cant face myself..

and I thought it brought me to a remedy..Im afraid..its so weird..Nobody knows..I walk into a door..and they think Im ok..maybe it's cuz I got a smile on my face but they dont know whats goin on with me today..

they aint diggin in my soul findin pain...they see the love..but there aint no trace..so they just take and take..

while I got nothin to serve..Im lookin at this girl...through the mirror she stares right at me..where both in two different worlds..but its like she trapped me..I'll never be perfect..not exactly..and I guess we get through rough times magically..ups and downs..this shit keeps happenin to me..yet to be happy rarely..man this worlds scary..nah I aint talkin bout the blood of marry..or the fuckin fantacy of a tooth fairy..Im talkin bout life..like.walkin on cracked ice..hidin around like fuckin mice..everythings a game we depend on a dice..and flip eachother around..and we only got two options..heads and tales..like we flippin a dime..now we worry about the rims on are rides..we aint facin the truth..livin in all lies..not trynna look for a subject that'll gimme easy rhymes..I spit my words between the lines..I aint lookin for someone to talk to..neither am I lookin for a hand to walk through..I find the path on my own..because its noone in this world I can trust..carryin shit on my back aint worth to hold..whats the point of addin that extra load..I've been thrown in the dust..I became weak..thin as crust..got through it, changed but took a while for me to adjust..and I just..just live with it..get over the facts..and face the truth..cuz when it comes down to it..in the end it depends on the decisions I choose..

Written By Esra Chebli

Check Out

AzStylebeats

http://www.youtube.com/user/AzStyleBeats

Azir, Great beats

if interested in buyin some of his awsome beats

message him on youtube.com

or email him at:

a-z_production@hotmail.fr
or just let me know and I'll send ur Info