http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKuM1brIUDk

(this instrumental by 2pac called "starin throught my rear view mirror" went very

well with the poem I began writing.)

They be screamin, fighten, shouten

there voices get loud an..

we be climbin up this mountain

bang!

slam that door shut

as mamma starts to cry

as he tells her to shut up

he don't wanna try

she just wanna leave everythin behind

sleepin in seperate rooms through the night

got children on the side

do they realize there reckin there lives

me myself and I

I'm a child

I dont wanna grow up liven this life

I cover my face

I write along..

rely on my pears to be here while they be gone

through these years

scard memmories

this photo album burned

cuz you know..I got no gallery

my life..my failery

when school be turnin on me

marks droppin low from the stress that fallows me

counclers be askin me questons tellin me they're here

when no one understands

no ones trusting..

as my worlds rusting

these doors shutting

my walls tumbling..

shut the fuck up

stop your arguing..

*when it comes to reality..their is very less smiling,

you know..you'll find stress piling, no matter how

old you are or young, you could be goin through..

a lot of shit..

Nomatter the timing..don't expect to be sittin on

your ass assumin the way life is thinkin it be simple

Without experiencing..

whipe that smile off your face.

you don't know that it's miss placed

cuz when the time comes..

you'll find it completley out of shape..*

Written By Esra Chebli

missin you..

lookin in ur eyes..

holdin me tight..

missin you..

like..I'm...I'm missin ur vibe

when I think of our happyness through the night

when you ain't here..when I need you here by my side

missin your goodnight..

baby come back in my sight

when I be missin your touch...like I be missin your smile

we ain't talkin for a while..

so even if I had to walk bare feet towards you..I will

even if it'll take miles..

my heart beats as I be pressin these dials

hard to call you up

this pressure on my back piles..

missin you...

I'm..I'm..missin your love

when you use to tell me baby I'm missin your touch

I kept you warm like a winter glove

like you kept me close when I felt like givin up

while everythin reminds me of you

every step you walked I be steppin with you

feel me baby..feel the pain I'm goin through

this feelin be like december in june

whipe this snow away

because I be frozen with the thought of you

I miss you so much..

miss me the way I do

bring back the summer

or baby these flowers will never bloom..

Written By Esra Chebli

I waited for you
trusted you
loved you..
held you
brought happyness when I was with you
missed you
cared for you
forgave you
never played you
risked everything for you..
but now I'm lyin here
whipin my sleeve across my cheak
when you told me to never cry
it's the only thing you never want to see
my heart bleeds
with worster pain then you acted like it was for you to see a tear
I gave up everything
followed and fell for the things you would say to me
and now sleepless nights
trynna help myself out
turnin to my good side
I say to myself I can beat this fight
losin you is hard
but thats just life
when I don't want to accept you outta my life
my emotions depend on you
but that can't be right
everythings bright when everything seems to be fine
but after the strike..
it's hard to see when you turned off the lights
you don't love me the way I do
yeah...thats how I feel when I'm with you
when you got these other chicks on the side
what I see
how I feel
forget all the shit I hear about you
when you tell me I'm wrong..
it's kinda hard to believe
when I thought I felt love bein rapped in your arms
maybe I am wrong..
wrong about you bein faithful and makin me strong..

Love you..

Written By Esra Chebli

with the start of depression of no hugs

when all I needed is love

til oneday I got exposed to drugs

took a sniff..

til every sniff was never enough

got this addict..

til this addict became way to much

I can't live without it

when in the beginin I doubt it

thought I was strong

just one sip ain't wrong

and now Imma drug attict

took me to rehab

but rehab act like static

these drugs were magic

but they said my drug use was massive

and now I'm layin here

I gotta have it

with the temptation

this high sensation

but yet crashin into my life is tragic

hurtin my mamma

man I can't forget her reaction

when she told me

why this the only thing that reach my satisfaction

when now all I be is on my own

 child care came and took me away from my home

so I guess I gotta pay for the consequences of my actions

hope I get well and walk outta here laughin.

Written By Esra Chebli

Runaway Love instrumental (Ludacris ft Mary J)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWhxcgXTdlY
-Just began lyrics tonight only got verse one finished.
will be updated..

(verse #1) 25sec-1:05
These thoughts be scary when they be comin by
wanna runaway from home
start a hole new life
things aren't gonna be the same...
leavin everythin behind
but it's time to work things out
take the pain away from my life.
poppin pills, maybe drug use
or runnin from a relationship with physical abuse
I'm holdin myself down with the right thing to do
so I runaway in my own world and thats where I find you..
where I once seeked for love and affection..
where I once bled out of emotional depression..
and now when I find someone just right
when I be blind from a completley fine pupil in my eye..
how nobody listen or see the pain that I'm sippin
losin everythin but it just don't finish
what is left for me to do?
I guess runnin away is the only thing that came through..

Written By Esra Chebli

In The Mind Of Whom..?

"Shes so young...it's time to have some fun,
when she fall so easily when all I want is to feel on her buns,
when she be just 15...it's time to play with her intellectually,
haha she even go against her family..
when she think I'm serious, she full of insanity.."

-How does he really think?...for a colldge boy is it sick?
when we look at our parents and the age difference..
depends on the envirnment he grew up in..
way back home
so I can't really understand him
what did I get outtta all this..?
well now I can tell when a guy begins to bol-shit..

Written By Esra Chebli

Walked in seperate ways..

but ended up in the same place..

...in the land of mirrors..

me and my second face...

Written By Esra Chebli

beat be movin along as I be writin this song

heat risin to the top as I be fighten to give it my best shot

e-chebbz the name I give myself ain't a secret for long

I'm willin to erase every face that is willin to move me outta place

I'm willin to give my all even if it takes my soul

I'll hold on tight

if it peels my skin to the last layer of meat

Imma keep on hodin

til I get pulled off my feet

Written By Esra Chebli

Ring Ring, the phone go off four in the mornin, wuts happenin I'm sleepin
I tumble over their you are sayin your leavin,when you surprise me with ur cheatin
while you leavin me for another and I'm lyin here bleedin,
don't know how to get ridd'a the pain that I'm feelin
whats this I'm seein!?
a letter of my letter you promised to keep it..
fuck this..fuck it, cryin tears cryin buckets,
there be no way to unlock these lockets when my hands be glued in my pockets.

Written By Esra Chebli

school is packin me with homwork..barely got time for anythin

need a passin mark, so no stress..I gotta worry about other problems I'm livin

Written By Esra Chebli

maybe if I touch a star
or just let it fall..
to me
let it come down
let the world see
my personality
my soul who makes me
who I am
what I breathe
as the makings of a chebli
to e-chebbz
the name I be givin myself for a living
my hobby
what I injoy most
what I consider my toppings
what makes me happy
don't be pullin me away from it
cuz nothin can stop me
I don't care if you look at me as a tommy
cuz I'm no boy
maybe I just copy

Written By Esra Chebli

I'm afraid I might miss you
maybe miss you just a little to much
when I don't want to just miss you that much
cuz just maybe I love you more then love
and even when looking in yor eyes I can't get enough
wutif I stay loving you forever
and the thought of you just wont leave my mnd
how will I deal if your not here nxt to my side
but when I even miss you when your right next to me
when your gone imagin what it'll be like...

Written By Esra Chebli

Red faded white petal tips

as the rain falls the petals drips

stem be holdin on leaves with full grip

a flower blooms the blossoms live.

The white sheets of clouds drift away

sun brakes through from a flowers pray

givin light creatin a new shinin day

a rainbow appears from nomore rain.

Windows be open for the fresh sent of air

the sky look down, the sky just stare

puddles splash, the reflection glares

as a new born butterflys caccon tares.

birds sing

chinglers ding

as ducks move along with more water the rain brings

a cry from the pain of a bees sting

as the sunsets and the sky turns pink

flower petals now shut

oxygen now be taken up

moons light not bright enough

we all rest asleep til the sun appears from up above.

Written By Esra Chebli

when you get held back by something you can't control
for example somethin you've been told..
it could change the rest of your life
and turn everything upside down
everything was fine..atleast you thought it was..
never thought it could turn your hole life around
yet it could be good
but what happens if it's bad..?
life can be so sad...

Written By Esra Chebli

empty medows, walkin ladies with stilettos, sharin a life in the ghetto, lookin through a barely visible window, walkin in the shadows of the hurt and loss of power, crumbs of devour, through rain showers, the bloom of a flower, a lemons sour, lookin..pickin up for a coupl'a fights, jookin be walkin throught the nights, empty streets, corners here and their..with a couple of gangsters waitin for you to pull a hair. bars, smokin, car alarms are off cops be runnin shootin one or two shots brakin flower pots as they run through yards of lots, criminal charge..be held against..alteast liveable, but hard to taste...

Written By Esra Chebli

six and a-half months
shit and love I got none
when I said leave I don't want
but you didn't listen to a point I became numb
when you said you miss me in your arms
I look back and it's just so fucked
what you took when my heart was just suppose to be touched
and now you sit back and bluff
you don't opprecitate what you got..
that's why I've moved on
but why you act like it's so hard to accept
boy you commited theft
and stole my heart and ended it in a wreck
I'm a doll made outta cotton weeves
the feelings of nothin
my eyes just blank lidlessly
when your suppose to be here
understanding me
your there..
talkin like you don't care
makin a fool outta yourself
when you gotta girl for once
your lucky...lucky I was with you
but now I hope you realized how much I don't need you..

Written By Esra Chebli

Just stop..I'm gettin sick.. I can't handle seein your face.
I can't handle hearin your voice..
when all I got outta this is hurt
I don't even wanna think..
pointless stress..
one last thing I ask from you..
please stop
I need a rest
stop your bluffin
because it's hurtin the heart that's beatin against my chest
all I ask for is to move your own way
please I'm begging you
soon my life is going to be thrown away
it's enough
it's time to unlock me out these cuffs
just stop...
it's the only thing I ask from you..

Written By Esra Chebli

This is a Poem Written By my sister abby...

"I'm so confused,
don't know what to do,
should I give "us" another chance...
I don't even know if I want you,
It seems like I need you,
I pretend I'm fine, but everywhere I go
I see you, an illusion of you,
I ask myself why, but I still don't know
everything...just everything reminds me of you,
it's like there are signs leading me to you,
tellin me that your thinkin of me too,
but the thought of you wont leave me alone...
sometimes I feel like I gotta heart of store,
because I try to erase the feelings inside of me,
but it's the truth that I'm destined to be,
so I fly away, so my heart could set free,
now tell me, what would you do if you were me?
I know for the both of us, it's not easy,
so the forces of repellment are pullin me away...
but for real, it's with you I wanna stay...
you dont even know this, I care for you, but I don't think you notice,
you probly think I'm mean, to blunt & honest,
but you don't know half of what goes on in my chest,
I just need a rest, I don't want to play the role of the reject,
I'm just goin on with life, not knowin what to expect...
but I'm stuck in this situtation clueless of what to do next...
with everythin that's goin on, I'm trynna stay strong,
I miss you, & the way we use to get along,
I would send this to you, to put it in a song...
But I'm afraid you might skim through it,
cause the format is to long."

Written By Abbz Chebli

Hamdualla is all I'm left to say..

when you turn to religon and give it word and pray..

a true believer in god..what is there to be ashamed?

everyone got there own thoughts and feelings..

but Hamdualla; it's the way I was raised

Hamdualla..thanks to god..is what it means

yeah...thanks to allah

is what I say when I acheieve

when I fail it pulls me closer and makes me stronger to believe

we don't like to admit our sins..

but we'll eventually face them at a certain point

we can only keep them in to a certain extent//

just like smokin a joint..

you can't keep the smoke in your system for to long

it builds pressure and forces you to caugh it out..

Christains, Muslims, Atheists, Buddhism, Judaism,

Spiritism, Sikhism. Baha'i Faith, Jainism ect..

it don't matter..we all believen different things

but I share for what I believen..

what I turn to..

my religon I admire

and stick my head up high to..

when I'm proud to say I'm muslim

when it be hard to say in America..

there be stereotype..like every muslim is a tourist

when a white man could be carryin a bomb and could be holdin a marit

just trynna speak as a citizens right to..I believe it's wrong

and believe they should put a stop to..

I ain't sayin we inoscent..

just sayin the truth of what we livin in..

the way we handle things..

I'm proud to let you all know I'm a muslim

what will be your expression..

you just can't stop lookin..

Written Bye Esra Chebli

I wish I knew sooner..
because you know it's always better sooner then later..
never knew life was such a hater..
to find out that it only gave me anger..
eatin up everythin and leavin nothin but bones and flesh as the remainder

Written By Esra Chebli

it's funny how someone can hurt you so bad..
with just simple words and make you so sad..
it's funny how someone can help you stand..
like I mean on your feet
but also make you weak just by lettin go of your hand
it's funny how we depend on eachother
but yet leave one another..
it's funny how we all change
but we notice it from eachother without realisin were all the same
this world's a funny place
it's kinda like a board game..
runnin in circles..since the worlds a globe
and we think we can throw somethin away
how can we forget the past when it was just yesterday
we lived it..we can't just move on and act like it's a new day
life is an issue...with many problems in it to solve
in the end you never know what the conclusion was to resolve
how do we just keep movin on
like we still wake up to a new day
we think we've givin up, but we seem to naturaly find a new way
we use eachother
for love, for friendship, for style, for recognition, for beauty
it's just so funny
it's common sence, why get mad when you eventually give it another chance
we are creatures that adapt to anything
hot and cold
not just weather
even if we had to walk on feathers
we always gotta way
but you know what else is funny?
how goodbye is a hard word to say
but we still say it..
and we still make it
even if you thought you can't take it
look it's a miracle!
the words are written clearly infront of your face
there you go..now you know we kinda all make mistakes
no ones perfect..just live your life at the fullest.. ;)

Written By Esra Chebl

Diary...

My 2009,

I struggled..struggled to a point that I tumbled..I tried new things, met new people..and I learned for what it brings. Hangin with the wrong crowd, tryin to make everyone but me proud..puttin myself down, barrying me into the ground..I call it the worst year..the worst year for me, I learned things the hard way, and I blame it for the person I am today. This year has affected me in many ways. I became depressed and stresssed..but it's what made me start writing, what I experienced I hope to never experience again, just fights..I remember writing one of my first poems and it was about why I was chosen to live this life. when summer came..the drama starts, it's when everything started falling apart, I didn't know what was happening..til I realized me and my loved ones were begining to part..I was inlove..it was my first love or maybe a deep crush, I took many risks that I don't regret taking because I believe it was worth it for my heart to be aching..things got messed up, I kept my love for him on the down low, I wanted no one to know..but it was never kept as a secret it began to show..I got in shit..lost my advantages..lost the meaning of what trust is..seein my best friend as an enemy, never would of thought things will be like this. I felt like everything turned against me..like the world hated me..me and her were still tight, I still called her everytime I cried..but what happened after..some people got involved in her life...I wish I can share whats happening today..tell her whats new..maybe I should call..but no..I don't think she wants to talk nomore..but it's all good, I gotta learn to accept things in life, I lost many things before..but this friendship was one thing losing I cant aford..but I'm asuming it's to late, I hope she finds a better mate. I learned that if I start off on my own..I finish on my own, it's crazy for how much I've grown..all I wanted was for someone to understand, but no one will understand me as much as myself and I gotta learn to accept that to..I know I can do it...I know I can stand on my own..so now I identify me as "the unknown"....

The Diaries of Esra Chebli and life...

Diary...

My 2010,
I'm startin a new year..new pears..a new me, takin every opportunity my eyes are more wide open for me to see...but more to come when a new day appears..

The diaries of Esra Chebli and Life..

The stage lights..the spotlight be on me.

the attention... tonight the world be dancin

the music...everyone be jumpin

my heart is pumpin..today the world changes

clubbin...we got the subs an..

we all be rockin...til the mornin

we lovin..move an..chillin...an we givin..

all we got..we be sippin..with the east coast swingin

holdin..on a mic..we singin...we rappin

sayin whatever..like who cares we better

laughin...pictures takin..like the paparatzi

be like paris hilton...the big glasses we show off an...

I'm the star...in the spotlight

every news paper, pictures of the craziest hang overs

in the parkin lot there be range rovers

no limos, just trashy...we got them haters

it don't matter bout the mercedes..

we don't care if you think you be gettin them ladies

we got all we got

we put in what we have

don't think of cost

man we just spend

passed out..wakin up in some house

it be 4:30 in the evenin

we just woke up from bein partyed out

now..it's time..to..party..all night..til the mornin

we club til it be to drunk to drive

we be like brokencyde

things get dirty..

there be no lights

we wake up sorry

but we keep partying like maniacs tl we fallin!

Written By Esra Chebli

check out 3rd street click at there myspace

http://www.myspace.com/canonizedklick

there awsome!

said at the right place
at the right time
most importantly the words waiting to come out from deep inside
sit back and think..
with a glass of water
through your thoughts you sink
are you willin to take it farther
or did you run outta ink
are you thinkin it over smarter
no mistakes
neither of us want to make
thats why I promise things will never change
the memmories from when we first met
til today
when we became our own set
there will be no games
there will be no pain
it's the time to make it our best
keepin it locked in a treasure chest
no time to play
I got the right words to say
I thought it over
and over
this is somethin I was willin to go for
just serious
I don't mean to be so curious
but I was kinda oblivious
so it was brought up
it was in me for to long
I'm glad notin between us had to stop
and now that huge weight is gone.

Written By Esra Chebli

Im not the happy girl you think I am

people rate my personality a ten

but when I look in the mirror all I see is pretend

I call myself a true friend

but nothin seems to last til' the end

I always got my shoulder to lend

I always have a message that I need to send

I still got words that need to be said

how come life is so hard to go through

theirs so much things I gotta do

who ever is reading this

what do you see when I look at you

I'm sick in this forever flue

I guess I'm still trynna find who I am

I hope I find me soon

It's like I lost who I once was

and now I'm someone new

I never missed anyone so much

I mean the real me

the inner me I lost

were my heart thats suppose to be touched

I wish by an angel

the me who's suppose to be loved

it's not the feeling like I gave my soul away

it's the feeling of a different me in every way

it's hard to see how I'm hurting today

the mirror is the only place

I can look at my face

and see how I have really changed

me is so hard to face

other then blood my body is filled with shame

the feeling of no stronger pain

how can it go away

so I keep moving in the same way

Written By Esra Chebli

GoodNight

GoToSleep

TurnOffTheLights

WhisperIntoMyEar

LookAtTheTime

SayILoveYou

ThenShutTheDoorAsYouLeaveMyBedroom

LetMeDreamOn

AndWakeUpWithYourVoice

AndNotMyMorningAlarm

LetMeFlyWithMyBrokenWings

HelpMeBelieveICanTouchTheSky

LetMeSing

TouchMyHeart

LoveItMoreThenLove

NeverBreakItApart

HoldMyHandTightLikeACuff

MakeMeSeeYourFace

HelpMeGetAwayFromMyPain

BeHereForMe

ShowYouCare

ShowMeYourThere

WhenWillTheRightOneCome

WhenYouLookAtMeStare

MakeMyHeartDrop

MakeMeLoveYou

TrustYou

MakeItWorthItWhenICryForYou

Written By Esra Chebli

Look at me now

I'm a dead rose

I was beautiful and bloomy

and now my petals are rusted and black

I want my beauty back

someone to love me

water me

give me life

I'm layin against a crack

someone tell me why

I need the suns energy

and the rains moisture

what could a rose do to fight?

were does my soal go

layin with life of nomore

I wanted to grow

and grow

and grow

the most bautiful rose

but it's to late

I wasn't watered

there was no sunlight

or protection

I was picked

and given to a humans that love lived

now they threw me away

like they threw eachother

why should I have to pay

for the hurt they had on one another

I'm gone now

I'm a dead rose

...

Written By Esra Chebli

Recess time is all we got

hurry up!!

I have a special hiding spot

my mommy packed me choclate chip cookies

we'lll eat them together in the sand box

or maybe behind the big tree with all the colorful leaves

and lay in the grass and look at the clouds in the sky

at lunch time sit beside me and I'll share my lucky charms

my sandwich of p&j is cut to the shape of a heart

I'll give you the half of one part

and will eat it together

will hold hands under the table when it's time to color

but make sure noone knows that your my lover

call me when you get home

here I'll give you number

tell your parents we have homework to do

and come over

and will share kisses and hugs until you go

hang your coat next to mine in the coat room

sit next to me when we sing the happy song

but why does the bell ring so soon

I'll see you tomorrow

you better be at school

Written By Esra Chebli

my fingers rap around a mic

it's just me and the crowd of my life

it's like to much to say that I ran outta lines

but it don't matter

I got all the time

because it's just..

me myself and I

Written By Esra Chebli

I love bein rapped in your arms
you make me better when life gets hard
I love the fact that Im your girl
missin you with every breath I take without you
believe me when I say your my world
I love when you hold my hand
I feel like I can barley stand
I've fallin for you
but even harder just thinkin bout you bein my man
I love when you look me in the eyes
I love how you make me believe I can touch the sky
I was a dead rose...and you helped me bloom
you gave me life, you were my superhero before I knew
I love everythin bout you
I love you
especially your hot looks
got me faintin by the sent of you
am I dreamin?
I'm pinchin my self this can't be real
boy...your actually really next to me
can you feel what I'm feelin?
when I see you my heart beats up to the wall of my chest
I want to be with you on the journey of my hole life
and it's for the best
this isen't just a crush I know it's more
I'll be thinkin of you even when I sleep, thats when I be havin a dream
your imposible to ignore

Written By Esra Chebli

Son To Father

Don't die
please tell the angel  to keep you alive
or i'll tell the angel to take my life
if your gone I wont sleep ...like insomania
I just won't be able to sleep through the nights...
Turnin things into reality
things ended in tragidy..
I open up the lights to feel  your face
so I can be in your sight
you hold onto your chest tight
your skin is so pale and white..
You're hurt and I'm hurting for you
I can't help to see what your going through...
I wish there was something I could do
I'm praying and hoping for death to leave you alone
Dear god help him live forever and on
I can't help but cry..
I can't even imagine how much pain your takin' inside
I'll cherish every moment that I've spent with you my father
I'm thinking of the love you have for my mother
or the times me and you have spent together
it will be only home videos on the t.v screen
or pictures..
those are the only things I'll get to see of you living
along with all the memories..
I wish you get better
but you're only gettin' worse
woke up one day to be hit with your death
I write up a letter to lay on top of your grave
I try to stay strong and brave just for my families sake
but deep down I'm really weak..
I can't even speak..
life won't be the same
who's going to be the grandfather of my kids?
or who will watch my wife and I walk down the isle when I get married?
if it's not you, then it's no one
because the person who I need by my side is buried
When I was a new born, you held me in your arms
It was my life you carried..
maybe this was meant to happen..
maybe there's a reason we should be apart
so I'll accept the way your breaking my heart
I love you dad
but I have to live with the fact that your gone
I'll always be sad
you were the only true freind I had
and now your gone
but I'll make you proud
I know your watching over me ..maybe sittin on a cloud
I'll follow your footsteps
all the way to your grave
I'll try to make you happy along the way
Here I am breathing..
Why does life have to be so misleading?
Why couldn't death take my soul so I can feel the feelin' of releif..
Life is too short and breif..

Written By Esra Chebli

Boom!

 bombs crash down

like the sound of thunder but one hundred times loud

hittin on a small town

covered in the pitch black clouds

the smoke

doors pound

from the fist of a soldier

(shot)

it's man down

torture and violence

to victoms it's timeless

more then a dozen bodies found

to them there will never be silence

no choice but to surrender

homes invaded by soldiers

army bases across the border

things gettin tenser

SOS

as they ruin there nests

peace

it's what everyone deserves

spendin millions on war

when they could be findin a cure for disease

kill but what more

oviousley it's not enough

they begin to torture

I don't gotta clue what it's like

I live in Canada a peace keeper

but I can still fight

my home country Lebanon has been through war

don't forget palestine thats still fighten to keep their home

soldiers willin to leave their family and maybe children if they got

goin across the world

to take over a families lot

is this what you were taught?

it's a shame to see what you have brought

come back from blood

"guess what hun I just killed a six year old and left'em in the mud"

thats fucked

what wrong if there was no fighten

they teach us in school that it ain't the right thing

but how come they can and I can't?

it just hurts for them to face the fact

Written By Esra Chebli